FRITOLAYSIA, a doritocracy in southeast Asia, located east of Burma and north of Cambodia. Their capital is Karunchi, and the nation's major export is pre-packaged consumable goods. They export a large quanitity of goods to SNACKISTAN, but relations have been tense for over a decade. It escalated when Snackistan signed a fat-free-trade agreement with the Yogurtslavian nation of Colombo, instigating Fritolaysia to levy trade snacktions against the country. Recently, the Snackistani government has shown a resistance to Fritolaysia's zesty new initiative, to which Fritolaysia responded by withdrawing all of their ambassadors and cutting off chiplomatic relations.

(The Onion, "Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan," November 30, 2005)

NUKEHAVISTAN, a former Soviet Republic suspected of having nuclear weapons. It is a land-locked country located west of Kazakhstan, and north of Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan. The terrain consists mostly of flat stretches of gypsum and alkali, occasionally marked with deep craters and twisted metal structures. The capital is Silograd, famous for the Great Silo, a towering structure that can be seen from space.

Nukehavistan was the first republic to break off from the Soviet Union. Its main exports are surplus Geiger counters, Tyvek fabric, and radioiodine-laced milk. The only known import is weapons-grade plutonium. Over 90% of its citizens work in the power-plant industry. Though it is incredibly hard to get a visa to enter the country, tourism is strong, with the majority of visitors hailing from North Korea, Pakistan, and Iran.

Recently Nukehavistan has come under suspicion by the United States Defense Intelligence Agency for possession of nuclear weapons. This may be based in cultural bias, as the national dress consists of embroidered lead aprons with hoods and large lead-shielded visors, their folk music consists of two high-pitched concurrent tones same as the old Emergency Broadcast System of the Cold War era, and their government seal portrays a hawk holding several nuclear weapons in its claws. However, nothing conclusive has been proven, as surveillance images have all been dominated by a strange glowing green hue.

(The Onion, "U.S. Intelligence: Nukehavistan May Have Nuclear Weapons," August 17, 2005)

SNACKISTAN, a country in central Asia between Iran and India. Snackistan depends on a strong import of pre-packaged consumable goods from other nations, including Yumen, Mmmmadagascar, and the Chex Republic. Unfortunately, their lines of trade have been consistently threatened by a shaky relationship with FRITOLAYSIA.

The disputes started with the intrusion of Fritolaysian rufflelutionaries across zestablished borders, forcing Snakistan to dispatch cheesekeeping forces. The situation was resolved at the SALTY talks in Snakistan's Kuler Ranch, where the Buttermilk Compromise was signed. This established bilateral chiplomacy and set the international Rold Gold standard of currency. The peace was later disrupted when Snackistan signed a fat-free-trade agreement with the Yogurtslavian nation of Colombo. Fritolaysia responded by imposing trade snacktions and setting up a blockade of Snakistan's major ports. Fritolaysia recently cut off all chiplomatic relations with Snackistan after the Snackistani delegates' rejection of a zesty initiative introduced at an international trading summit. President Ghulam Murtaza Pringle is working to re-establish a flavorful relationship with Fritolaysia.

(The Onion, "Fritolaysia Cuts Off Chiplomatic Relations With Snakistan," November 30, 2005)